Push Through the Tough Times

Audio By Carbonatix

I have recently been looking at statistics and thinking a lot about the time in a marriage when most divorces occur. It is usually young couples and couples with young children who fall into this vast divorce hole. It seems to me that we can point out some obvious reasons for this occurrence. I actually believe this happens because these are absolutely some of the toughest and most exhausting years of life. I call it the “Will these kids ever grow up?” season.

Just after the wedding, when everything is fresh and rosy and there are still some left over gifts to unwrap from the wedding day, life is pretty sweet. Actually, it’s very sweet. Everything is new, and the term “married bliss” sure seems to ring true. Then the beast of routine sets in, and that spark grows a little dimmer. Soon after that, the pitter patter of little feet keeps you up all night long—night after night…after night. There it is, that little spark growing dimmer again.

Then, when you’re absolutely toast and both of you have done all you can do to stop the crying and screaming, it sure is easy to get edgy with each other. After this, actual time together wanes to practically nothing, and usually the best “quality” time you spend together is when you’re passing the kids off in the middle of another diaper change. It isn’t hard for any of us to understand that this is going to be a time in life where the grass over there is going to look really fresh and green. And it sure would be easy just to throw in the towel, give up, and get divorced, wouldn’t it? If you’re in this stage, let me tell you that pushing through it is an excellent option. Trust me—been there! Done that!

All of that stuff I just wrote about I have experienced myself. I have been there, and I have made it through. Now that I’ve pushed through it and watched my kids and myself grow older, I can tell you that the time I now get with my wife is richer even than the time we had in the beginning—because we’ve built into each other. We both know what we’ve been through and where we’ve come from, and we value each other more because of it. We appreciate the dedication we’ve both made to this marriage and to our family. And if you’re in the middle of that whirlwind cycle of life when the soccer practices, diaper changes, dance lessons, 3 a.m. feedings, and PTA meetings seem endless and take up all of your energy, it will pass. I know it doesn’t seem like it at the moment—and I can certainly recall days thinking it would never end—but it does. Let me tell you, it passes all too quickly. In fact, I guarantee you that one day you will actually fantasize about going back and re-living some of those crazy days.

So, push through the more challenging and exhausting times. When you get to the other side of them, your marriage will experience some of the greatest joy imaginable. Next time you’re changing a diaper or providing shuttle service to a game, pause and be thankful that you are in a wonderful season of family life.