Relationships, Brick by Brick

Audio By Carbonatix

Once upon a time, a man wanted to build a brick wall on his property. But there was one thing keeping the man from actually building a brick wall: he was too cheap to buy bricks. As time passed, this man became more and more convinced that he should have a brick wall. But, as the story goes, he never became convinced enough to save his cash and purchase some bricks. Then, one day when the cheapskate was in the basement of his high-rise office building, he noticed a brick wall there. The man thought it was a nice wall, and the bricks were especially lovely. He got an idea.

Sometime later and forty-five floors above that basement, a large crack appeared in the concrete of the office building. Many people were greatly concerned by this crack, including the building’s owner, who hired an assortment of people to assess the building’s damage and figure out what was causing its splintering. Expert examiners, inspectors, and surveyors shuffled all around the crack in the concrete, but nobody could find a total explanation for it. Then one day, an expert came to the building, took a good look at the crack, and promptly made his way to an elevator. Minutes later, he discovered just what he had expected to discover. There, in the basement of the building, was a wall with a number of bricks missing. 

As it turned out, the man who was too cheap to buy bricks had found a way to build himself a brick wall practically free. For a period of time, he had made a daily trip down to the building’s basement. Each day, he had swiped a single brick from a wall and then took it with him on his ride home. Of course, the problem with this man’s free bricks is that they didn’t come without cost. Over time, his unnoticed underground thefts caused a flaw in the structure of the building. They also caused a noticeable gash in a slab of concrete that wasn’t even visible from the scene of the swipes.

What happened in that high-rise building is exactly what is happening in countless families today. Spouses, siblings, parents, and children all over the place are beginning to notice cracks in their relationships. Somewhere, somehow, something splintered—and often we can’t figure out why. Marriages are severing. Brothers and sisters are at odds. Moms and dads are at their wit’s end. Kids feel like they’re in limbo. A deeper look at most broken relationships often reveals a whole bunch of underlying issues—conversations turned bad, expectations gone unmet, hopes left abandoned. These are the things that create rifts between people. These things ultimately have the power to break us. 

Are you in a relationship that’s showing signs of rupturing? Have you noticed gaps in the concrete? If so, it’s likely that some repairs are needed underneath the surface. And underneath the surface can mean any number of things. Mending broken relationships takes work—hard work. At times, it requires something as simple as a conversation, but often it requires many conversations. Sometimes it involves breaking old habits or forming new ones. It can even take outside help or professional counseling. Or forgiveness or letting go. Sometimes this process of healing takes days or weeks, but usually a healed relationship is years in the making. People must work to restore the foundation they’re standing on, one brick at a time.

So, the question today is this: which missing bricks have hurt your family? What can you do to repair the damage done? Is there a call you should make? A trip you should take? Should you apologize for something? Should you forgive somebody? Take the necessary steps to restore your family relationships—they’re worth it. After all, family is far too important to risk a crack forty-five floors up.